Double D's and Silent Ninja Perverts
by The.Dragon.Singer
Summary: "Because I flashed a cop..." The only reason Kira Kanade is in Class F, is because she got arrested the day of the Placement Exam. Now, she's stuck with her childhood friend and the idiots that make up Class F. Not that she cares or anything, because despite the denial, there's something about the Silent Ninja Pervert..."Y-yoshi...It was b-black and lacy."


There was some times in life when Kira had the worst luck. Today was one of them.

She'd been arrested for public indecency while walking up to her school's placement exam, and her older, super childish, sister had to come bail her out.

"Nee-chan, why did you get arrested again?" Shizuma asked, skipping down the street. Her black and white Gothic Lolita dress bounced with her every step, along with her brunette pigtails.

"Because I flashed a cop..." Kira muttered, crossing her arms under her Double-D chest. "Gah. My back aches..."

"Nee-chan, why did you flash the cop?"

"Because he gave me one of those cat-whistles and it pissed me off." The blunette grumbled, narrowing her bright green eyes.

Shizuma giggled. "Silly Nee-chan. You've missed the Placement Exams at Fumizuki too!"

"What!? I can still take them right!?" Kira began panicking until her sister gave her one of her famous Death-Glares.

"Nee-chan should calm down." The Lolita-dressed young woman smiled, her voice soft.

Not many people could figure out that Shizuma Kanade and Kira Kanade were sisters. For one, Shizuma was four foot four inches, with long light brown hair, purple eyes, purple bangs, and no chest. She was also twenty-four.

Kira was five foot four, or five foot seven in her heeled ankle boots. Her hair was a teal, naturally, and her eyes were cat-eye green. Her breasts were double-D's. She was the younger of the two sisters at sixteen.

Shizuma had a childish persona, a soft voice and a sweet smile no matter what she was saying or doing. She worked as a coroner at the local morgue.

The two girls lived in a house with a nice view of the city at night, and they lived next to the Kinoshita family. In fact, Kira's best friend was Hideyoshi, the younger _male _twin of Yuko, who was deathly afraid of the blunette.

Home was empty when the two girls arrived, as their parents were working abroad at the moment in Greece. However, the silence of the house was shattered by the phone in Kira's bag singing.

_Woke up with yawning, it's dawning  
I'm still alive  
Turned on a radio  
To __start__ up new day_

As goddamned D.J. chattered

_How to survive _

"Moshi-moshi?" Kira held the sleek silver phone to her ear, the small figurine of Maes Hughes from _Fullmetal Alchemist _dangling against her fingers. "Hideyoshi-kun~!"

"_Good afternoon, Kira-chan! I was phoning to enquire why you were not at the Placement Exam._"

"I got arrested..."

"_Arrested!? What for!?"_

"I flashed a cop..."

"_Oh..."_

"Yeah..."

"_Iron-man will be phoning tomorrow or late this evening to inform us of our Classes. Will you phone or e-mail me when you find you, Kira-chan?"_

"Of course, Hideyoshi-kun. What do you take me for? A stranger?"

The boy on the other end of the phone laughed.

"Say hi to Yuko for me, ne? I have to make Onee-chan dinner." Kira twirled a piece of her long bangs around her finger, and surveyed the kitchen.

"_Of course. Have a pleasant evening, Kira-chan._"

"You too." The line went dead, and Kira snapped the phone shut, before turning to the fridge.

* * *

It was ten-thirty at night when the phone rang again.

Shizuma bounced off the couch, and with an aura of cuteness radiating around her, answered the phone with a cheerful "Moshi-moshi!?"

The brunette nodded, listening to whoever was on the end before she finally grinned.

"Hai~! Nee-chan, it's Ironman!" She tossed the phone to her younger sister, who was seated on the couch.

"Moshi-moshi, Ironman. What class am I in?" Kira smiled. However, her face dropped about three seconds later, and lines of dark gloom surrounded the girl. "I see. Thank you for your time, uncle."

"Well? What did you get!?" Shizuma bounced beside the couch, delight on her childish face.

"Class F..."

* * *

Hideyoshi stood outside his house on the corner, waiting for his neighbor to join him. Yuko had already gone ahead to school, but that was understandable, considering she was Class A.

The Kinoshita boy sighed, and glanced over at Kira's house again. He smiled as the door open.

However, Kira's usual clumsy descent of the stairs did not happen. Instead, Shizuka was pushing her younger sister out the door, and Kira seemed to be dragging her feet. Waves of gloom poured off the girl.

"Kira-chan!" Hideyoshi smiled, waving as Kira made it to the end of the driveway. "Good morning."

"Ohayo." Kira mumbled.

"Kira-chan, you're not wearing your tie." Hideyoshi pointed out as they began their short walk to Fumizuki.

"What does it matter? There's no girl's shirts that fit my boobs, and I can't breath with a tie on." Kira grumbled, crossing her arms under said enormous boobs. Her pink skirt fluttered in the breeze as they walked.

Her shirt, the standard uniform shirt, had several buttons undone, and showed ample amount of cleavage. Kira wore no tie, but she did wear a pair of thigh-high white socks, and a pair of black, three-inch, ankle boots.

"Kira-chan, what Class did you get?" Hideyoshi asked, breaking the silence.

"Class F..." More waves of gloom poured off her, and Hideyoshi was sure he saw a dark coloured rain cloud over his friend's head.

"Me too! Isn't that lucky!? We should sit together."

Kira's entire demeanor changed. Her gloomy aura vanished, her storm cloud was swept away by a strong gust of wind, and she smiled.

"I'd like that, Hideyoshi-kun!"

**-;-**

"You guys are lively, as usual." Hideyoshi sighed, dragging Kira being him. The blunette's nose was buried in one of her mangas; today's was Bleach.

"Hideyoshi?"

"I'm in Class F, too. Glad to see you here." Kira could sense the flowery background that had sprung up behind her best friend.

"Same here. Glad to see you here. At any rate, just as you'd expect from the lowest preforming class. As far as the eye can see, I see only shabby guys."

"That includes you, though." A new voice spoke up, obviously belonging to the lazily propped redhead Kira could see over the top of her book.

"But I'm glad...that the only girl here is a pretty girl like you, Hideyoshi."

"I'm a guy." Hideyoshi protested, and then pulled Kira forward so she stumbled and her skirt ruffled. "And Kira-chan is here."

"Who? Was she here last year?" The sandy haired boy seated on the floor stared up at the large breasted girl.

"No. Kira-chan went to Kurokaraji Middle School."

"Kira Kanade." She offered, picking up her Bleach manga from where it had fallen.

"Tsuchiya!" The sandy haired boy yelled, launching at the raven lying on the floor in a pool of blood. "Tsuchiya, stay with me!"

"Y-yoshi, they were b-black and lacy!" Kouta murmured before fainting.

"Anyway," Yoshi and Kouta recovered quickly. "I'm glad we have two attractive girls."

"I'm a _guy._" Hideyoshi protested again.

"I'm the girl." The brunette girl standing off to the side, pointed at herself.

"You don't get it, do you?" Yoshi shook his head, and erupted sparkles. "Girls are kind and graceful, and have this soothing aura. Just looking at them puts our hearts at ease. Someone like you who's rough, violent, and scary with no breas- I feel a severe pain in my spine!"

"I wonder why." Kira murmured, greens eyes flashing in amusement as the brunette pulled Yoshi into a wrestler's move, a painful looking one at that.

Kouta flattened himself to the ground, trying to get a good look at the brunette's panties.

"Ano..." The door slid open, and Kira seated herself against the wall near Yuji. "I'm sorry that I'm late. I went to the nurse's office and it took a while, so..."

"Himeji-san..." Yoshi's face suddenly went pink. Himeji's violet eyes flickered around the room and landed on the sandy haired boy. "Ah...Yoshi-kun!"

The pinkette's steps carried her through the class room and Kira batted away some of the purple sparkles that filled the room as she and Yoshi conversed.

"Kanade-san," The brunette girl with her hair in a ponytail dragged the blunette over to the small circle she, Himeji and Hideyoshi had made. "Come join us. I'm so glad that there's another girl in this class. Seats are not assigned so we were told to sit wherever we like."

"Okay. Thank you very much!" Himeji smiled. "Then...Is that seat open?"

She pointed to the one that Yoshi obviously sat next to.

Kira sighed, dragging herself to the seat she'd taken in the corner, dragging her cotton-less pillow, table and bag over with her. Sliding down the two walls, Kira tucked her legs up her chest and opened her manga again, intent on finishing several of the chapters.

The bell rang, and Kira completely ignored it. It wasn't until Hideyoshi crouched in front of her that Kira moved, save for the flipping of her pages.

"Kira-chan," He smiled, hugging his legs. "Come play cards with Himeji-san, Minami-san, Tsuchiya-san and I."

"Alright." She sighed, dog-earring the page she was on before seating herself across from Tsuchiya Kouta. Her breasts bounced as she sat and Kouta wiped his nose. "What are we playing?"

"Go Fish?" Himeji suggested.

"Strip poker!" Kouta insisted.

"How about Cheat?"

"Bullshit?" Miniami and Kira asked at the same time, grinning at each other.

"Sure." Hideyoshi dealt out the three card decks after shuffling. As the circle went, Himeji went first, then Hideyoshi, Kouta, Kira, and Minami before beginning again.

"Ano...one one."

"Three twos."

"One three."

"Seven fours."

"Bullshit." Minami snapped. Kira smirked, picking up the last seven cards and flipping them face up to the brunette. "Damn. Three fives."

"Two sixes."

"One seven."

"One eight."

"Four nines."

"Bullshit!" Minami demanded again. Kira showed her the top four cards and handed the pile over. The brunette struggled to hold all her cards. "Nine tens."

"Ano...Two jacks."

"Bullshit." Kouta murmured. Himeji blushed and pulled the nine tens and her two cards over to her hand.

"One Queen."

"Two kings."

"Two Ace." Minami scowled, but kept her mouth shut.

"Eleven threes."

"Cheat." Himeji insisted. Minami flashed the top eleven cards and Himeji took the pile.

"Everyone listen!" The redheaded male who'd vanished out of the room appeared, slamming his hands against the broken podium at the front of the class. "As Class F Rep, I'd like to make a proposal. I'm thinking of having us, Class F, start a Summoner Test War."

"What!?" Hideyoshi nearly dropped the cards in his hands in surprise.

"A Summoner Test War...?" Minami looked over at the Class Rep. "Don't tell me..."

_At Fumizumi Academy, there's a system called Summoner Test War, also known as an ST war. With a teacher present, a student can summon their Avatar, whose offence power is based on the student's performance in that subject. Students fight using their Avatars. By defeating a higher ranked class, they can exchange their classroom equipment with the higher ranked class's equipment. _

"Everyone, aren't you unhappy with this shabby classroom!?"

"HELL YEAH WE ARE!"

"But if we can just win in a ST War, we can even get our hands on that gorgeous Class A equipment! We are the lowest ranked students! We're at the very bottom of the Academy! We're a group of scum noticed by no one and below everyone! In other words, that means we have nothing to lose! So why don't we try!? There's no harm! In addition, we have this guy!"

The redhead pointed at Yoshi, who then pointed at himself with a confused look before looking behind him.

"Believe it or not, this guy, Akihisa Yoshi, is a probationary student!"

"OOOOOOWH!"

"Well," Yoshi rubbed the back of his head. "I'm not all that special..."

Himeji lifted her hand.

"What is it, Himeji!?" Class Rep leaned forward as she stood.

"Is a probationary student really that incredible?"

"Yeah. It's not like any one can become one. It's a special treatment for a trouble student whose school performance is bad and who lacks a desire to learn."

Hideyoshi stood. "It's also said to be a synonym for _'idiot'_."

"It's someone who's completely useless." Minami agreed, nodding.

"Woah! That's really incredible." Himeji smiled.

Yoshi blushed. "Ah! I wanna crawl under the rug...if we had one."

"If we win in a ST War," The redhead continued, crossing his arms. "We can say goodbye to this shabby classroom. What do you say, everyone!? Do you wanna try!?"

"Yeah!"

Kira silently showed Kouta one of her cards, a three, and he nodded, handing over the matching one. The two students had resigned themselves to half-listening and play a very intense game of three-deck Go Fish.

"Then, to start with, we'll defeat the next rank up, Class E! Akihisa! As an ambassador for Class F, go declare war against Class E."

"What? Me?" Yoshi pointed to himself again. Kira handed Kouta a ten. "Normally, a lower ranked class' messenger who declares war is given hell, right?"

"That's something that happens in movies and novels." The redhead snorted. Kouta motioned to the deck on the table between them. "There's no way they'd do rude things to an important ambassador, is there?"

"But..."

"Akihisa, this is an important mission that only you can do. Please just trust me and go."

"Okay."

"Go Fish." Kira smirked behind her cars at her opponent as Akihisa left the room.

"He's gonna get beaten up, isn't he, Yuji?" Minami snorted. The redhead, Yuji, grinned.

"Ne, Kira-chan," Hideyoshi took his seat again. "Why is it that you ended up in Class F? I would have presumed you were at least a Class A or B student, Class C at the least."

The blunette mumbled something under her breath.

"Pardon?"

"I got arrested for flashing a cop." She growled. Kouta passed out, blood dribbling from his nose.

"EEEEEEH!?" Minami and Himeji yelped, both flushing cherry red.

"That's so crude!" Minami made a face.

"Shut up." Kira returned to her corner to wait out the day.

* * *

Kira's corner, as she had claimed it, no had three extra cushions she'd brought from home, a fuzzy blanket, and the lockers nearby had been swiftly modified into a bed of some sorts. Really, as far as Kira was concerned, her corner was perfectly fine.

It was stocked with books, blankets, she could nap if she wanted and no one would stop her, and she was comfy. As soon as she had enough money, she'd go about installing a mini fridge by utilizing the hidden wall socket she'd found.

However, a manga (today was Naruto) lay forgotten on her lap as she watched the strategic meeting go on.

Yuji tapped the board with the pink piece of chalk in his hand. "We'll use Hasegawa-sensei as the attending teacher for the war. We'll secure him on his way to Class E for the fifth period."

"Hasegawa-sensei..." Yoshi tapped his chin. "Then the subject will be math?"

"I'm good at math." Minami spoke up.

"We'll use math, the subject Shimada's good at, as our main strength." Yuji paced back and forth.

"How are you with Math, Himeji?" Minami asked the pinkette.

"It's not like I'm bad at it, but..."

"Then, you can fight with me, right?"

"No, she can't." Yuji crossed his arms.

"Why!?" Yoshi protested.

"The scores on the last test we took becomes our Avatar's offence power. The test we took last is...?"

"The placement exam."

"Since I left the room in the middle of the test, my scores are all zero." Himeji poked her fingers together.

"But once the ST War stars, she can take a recovery test." Yuji resumed his pacing. "If she takes that test, she can participate midway into the war, along with Kanade-chan."

Lifting her green eyes to meet the confused looks of the rest of the class, Kira smirked. "I wasn't at the test, due to my temporary placement in the police holding cell. Besides, Math isn't my strongest subject."

"Do your best." Yuji grinned at the two girls.

* * *

As the bell for fifth period rang, two of Class F's students jumped into the hall and wrapped the handsome young Math teacher in rope.

"We secured Hasegawna-sensei!" They called into the classroom.

"Start the war! Everyone, start the battle!" Yuji smacked his hands on the podium. Kira uncurled herself from the nest she'd made and yawned, smoothing down her skirt.

"Let's go, Himeji-chan." Kira muttered, holding the door open for the pinkette.

"Right!"

* * *

Both of the girls settled themselves into desks with stacks of paper before them, pencils poised. Kira gave herself a mini pep talk before nodding at the teacher.

"Well then, if you're ready, please start."

The room filled with the scratching of lead on paper and Kira focused lazy catlike eyes on the math exam sitting before her.

She thanked her parents to high heaven when the questions appeared to be easy. The blunette was suddenly extremely grateful they'd sent her to Karaji High, where everything was extremely hard and unusually difficult.

Breezing through the questions, Kira jumped when Minami planted herself between Himeji and herself demanding a recovery test.

The second Himeji froze, Kira completed several more questions and they both stood.

"We're done." Himeji sprinted for the door.

"Let's go." Kira cackled, launching herself after the pinkette. She was faster than Himeji, and managed to drag her along at a faster rate.

"Please wait!" Himeji pushed open Class F's door. "Mizuki Himeji! I accept this challenge!"

Kira entered behind her. "Kira Kanade. I also accept the challenge!"

"We're summoning our Avatars! Summon!"

Bright lights in red appeared beneath their feet, and tiny Avatars appeared.

Himeji's Avatar was decked out in western styled armour, and had a large sword. It was dressed in pink.

Kira's Avatar was dressed in a floor-length, dark grey coat with a lime green belt from the left shoulder to right hip. Under it was a midriff purple top, with fish-net going from the collar to the neck and down to it's wrists. A pair of tight white pants lay to it's knees, and under those were another pair of fishnets. Two green belts crossed over her waist, and a pair of purple and white ankle boots sat on it's feet. Slung back in long ponytail, the blue hair reached the floor.

A sword the size of the Avatar lay across Kira's Avatar's back, and it grinned evilly while cracking the whip in it's small hand.

"Here I come!" Himeji's one sword swipe obliterated more than half of Class E. "Kanade-chan, your turn!"

"You've all been so bad." Kira bit her finger, and grinned, before thrusting out her hand. Her Avatar cracked it's whip and the remaining forces of Class E vanished.

"What's with those scores!?" One of Class E's students stuttered, pointing at the glowing gold scores hovering over the two Avatars' heads.

Himeji's was a whopping four hundred twelve, and Kira's sat at three hundred eighty-four

"Their offensive power is as high as Class A!"

"Why are they in Class F?"

"Oh good. They're finally here." Yuji sighed.

"Himeji-san!" Yoshi grinned.

"Mizuki Himeji...?" Class E's Rep spluttered. "Don't tell me you are...? And who's the other girl?"

"Kira Kanade." The blunette winked, setting off a bunch of nose bleeds as she moved, seeing as her shirt had slipped to the side and exposed some of her lacy black bra. "Transfer Student from Karaji High!"

"The two of them are amazing!" Minami appeared behind the two girls, slinging her arms over their shoulders.

"Just as you'd expect from her. She wasn't a Class A candidate for nothing. And Kanade was at the top of her class in Karaji."

"That's Himeji's score!?" Yoshi's jaw dropped.

"Fumizuki Academy's tests have an unlimited number of questions in a limited time. So long as you can answer, your score doesn't have a limit."

"Then the strategy you mentioned was..."

"Buying some time for them to take the tests."

"I wasn't told such people were in Class F!" The Class E Rep floundered.

"Well, here I come!" Himeji ushered her Avatar forward. "I'm sorry!"

"One hit K.O." Kira flashed a grin. "Nicely done."

_And thus, this Summoner Test War ended with a victory by Class F!_


End file.
